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GGGRRRRR!!!
Leave me alone!
There’s nothing to say about me!
Nothing!
Nada!
Zilch!
I don’t got nothing to say about nothing!
I’m serious!
My bite’s worse than my bark!
I’m not in the mood.
I’m never in the mood!
I’m bad to the bone.
And I’m not going to tell you anything about me.
Not now.
Not ever.
So, don’t look at me that way.
I’m serious. |
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Okay.
I love to bite mailmen.
I love to chase children.
I really love to destroy smaller dogs.
Make them bow at my feet and hear the lamentations of their owners.
And bicycles?
Nothing makes me happier than to see the scared look on some
puny child that rides past me when I snarl and show my teeth.
What?
You don’t think that’s funny?
Well, try seeing it from my point of view!
I’m big.
I’m bad.
I put the rot in rotweiller.
I could’ve been a show dog, you know?
I’m obedient.
I can follow orders.
My coat has sheen.
So what if my two owners fought all the time.
Then got divorced.
Then made me choose which one to live with.
So what?
I’ll tell you one thing, though.
I can’t wait to see that little mangy mutt again.
Captain Cur?
HA!
More like Captain Crunch!!!
As in, I’m going to crunch him if he dares to come into my territory again.
Yeah. That’s all I want to do!
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